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Journal for August 16, 2004

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Jeff says: Today was a beautiful day. Last night's rain took away even the slightest hint of humidity, leaving behind a crystal cerulean sky peppered with an occasional fluffy cloud, and not even the slightest hint of humidity. Back home, we might call a day with this sort of weather the Ides of March, although this day hardly seems to me to be a day worth bewaring. Forgive me, but I am becoming increasingly aware as each day goes by that I could live here. I really could live here. This feels more like home to me than home does. Granted, I've felt that way most anywhere I've ever been. I can understand why someone would want to be an expatriate. I could be an expatriate! Something foundational happens when one is outside the bubble of affluent American opulence. The bubble pops and we are released, free to be human. Beyond the confines of our usual context, unlimited, the human spirit is more visible here, and being more visible, more indelible as well. We can see each other for who we are, not what we have, for how we treat others, not how much we elevate ourselves. We are us, not an image of us we feel intrinsically and subconsciously compelled to maintain. We can grow and mature in directions that can not even be comprehended in hypothetical discussion back home. I am at peace here. The language barrier is irrelevant. The people are my human brethren. I submit and admit that I am perhaps merely exhibiting a stereotype. Another couple we know who came to Kazakhstan told us they were here for five weeks. "We loved it," they said, "but in the middle of the fourth week we started to go stir crazy. It was time to come home." Given that I will not be here for five weeks (God willing), I'll never know. In this case, ignorance is bliss. I rejoice that my son is from this place, that such sentiment may be an ingredient in his blood. I am comforted that I will be able to share these words with him one day, to teach him not to reject the ways of his progenitors, but to embrace them, incorporate them, actualize them. I look forward to presenting to you a man who is fully American and fully Kazakh, a man who will be endowed with full capability and potential to accomplish anything, and yet who will--ideally--do so with a heart of grace, compassion, joy, kindness, and generosity. Such is the way I have seen of the people here. If today was any indication, he is well on his way! The Mr. Fussypants I met in the morning was all smiles and giggles in the afternoon. It would appear I am raising a sort of Dr. Heckyl/Mr. Jive. I suppose he's simply not a morning person. We did give him a new toy, a big, crinkly, jingly, soft ladybug that was a big hit! On the flip side, his favorite toy this morning was apparently our partners' teething ring. We learned he could crawl just fine when he spotted that thing and took off for it. We moved it. He took off for it again. (Maybe greed is more foundational to the Kazakh soul than my above paragraphs otherwise admit!) I made him cry when I took it away from him. I feel bad about that, but mama was there to comfort him. I'm also a bit dismayed by the mechanics of that maneuver: if daddy does something I don't like, mommy is there to comfort me; if mommy does something I don't like, mommy is there to comfort me. I don't get it, I don't try to explain it, but it is a universal truth about little boys. Alas. Not only can he crawl, but he can roll from his back to his front (to his back again)! I really wish these things would come with instruction manuals. I had no idea of all the tricks they could perform! I also watched with a perverse sort of pride as he ripped a book from the hands of an older and more capable Damir Shebler. I turned to John and said, "My kid can beat up your kid," which was a bit of a risk, given that I could probably get beat up by John pretty easily. He and Sue said not to worry about it. We'll work on the lesson on "sharing" when Alex is a little older, I guess. I'm taking it a little personally that his definitions of "cool toy!" are (1) anything our travel partners brought with them, (2) expensive electronics or other such battery-powered products, e.g., our digital still camera, video camera, or daddy's wristwatch. He spent about ten minutes this afternoon investigating the latter. After he rolled from his stomach to his back to his stomach this afternoon (pretty much one fluid motion, really), he smiled when I clapped for him. I think he pretty much got the point that we were proud. I can't wait to see what he'll do tomorrow! I'm secretly hoping he'll explain differential equations to me, because I really didn't get the whole thing behind Laplace Transforms the first time around. Just to prove that I'm not making this up, here is audio of Alex laughing at kisses and tickles. Hear Mr. Giggles in his element (with free bonus hiccough) And hear him again, too! Philipich maintains his status as a secondary source of amusement. We read last night in the journals of former residents here that we can use him as a banque du exchange. Sure enough, the First Bank of Philipich came through for us this afternoon after the local bank claimed they didn't have any Tenge today on our way back home for lunch. I wonder what other services he can perform. I wish he could just spontaneously take care of all of our legal needs as well, sign our paperwork, fly us back to Almaty in his private jet, etc., etc. (I may really like it here, but that does not mean that I would rather stay here indefinitely than pack up my son and bring him home to the amazing collection of people who are waiting there to smother him with attention and affection. After all, who can benefit from this but him! I want him to thrive!) He taught me a new word. On the way home this afternoon, we were stopped at a red light. He pointed at the car in front of us, a taxicab with a Camel cigarette sticker on the trunk, and said, "Durak." I looked at him quizzically. "Ne panimayo." "Durak!" he repeated, and then tried to make hand motions that looked something like squeezing a bicycle horn along with a "pip-pip-pip" sound. It didn't help, so I reached for my dictionary. I finally found the word and repeated, "Durak??" He smiled, and I started to laugh, realizing that the driver had been hanging his hand out the window with a lit cigarette attached to it. He was calling the driver an idiot and a fool for being a smoker. I was quite amused. "Durak!" I repeated, understanding. "Cigaretti!" I have since learned that Philipich used to be a Physical Education teacher. His sentiment is understood, and shared. Yesterday, we purchased a Coca-Cola and a big Snickers for him, having heard that he likes such things. He smiled, surprised, and opened his trunk to let us put our other groceries in. Inside were two dead fish on a cardboard sheet. I wasn't sure if this was a religious talisman, a cultural reference, a symbolic message from the local seafood mafia (not that there's any local sea!), or dinner. I'm leaning towards the latter, but a bit worried about the quality of the water in the nearby rivers. We're sticking with the beef. I managed to find some myasa and lukovitsa (meat and onion) pieroshkies for lunch today. Good grief! To quote Dr. Evil, "Try the hot pockets. They're breathtaking." Unbelievable. Not bad for 45¢. Speaking of new words, when we got in the car to head home, I asked Dina what American slang she thought we should teach Assia. Dina suggested that she probably knew it all already, to which I said responded that we should teach her some ghetto slang, and offered, "Yo, cut me some slack, G!" Assia started to laugh, but then said, "What does THAT mean?" I stumbled until I said, "I'm not sure, really." Sharing this story with Sue Shebler half an hour later, she suggested that we add "Tru dat, ho!" to Assia's vocabularic arsenal. I suppose this might be easier than it seems, for we invited Assia over for a movie at a time later to be determined. I brought 35 or 40 movies with me, and we learned today that she likes American comedies. I think we should watch Undercover Brother together. Solid.

Dina says: Today when we arrived at the baby house, we walked up to Alex’s group area and found all of the babies in the big playroom. There were three or four babies in walkers (Alex was one of them), a few in a huge playpen, one getting fed, and one getting a massage. Yes, a massage. They take wonderful care of the babies here. We’re hoping to watch Alex get a massage one of these days. Our morning visit was spent with the Scheblers again. It’s quite fun to have all three boys crawling around together. Alex really wanted to play with the other boys’ toys, and we found out that he really can crawl if there is something he wants real badly. He is a determined little boy! He was mostly interested in their teething ring; I think his gums are bothering him. At one point, Jeff took the teething ring away from Alex, since it wasn’t ours, and Alex started crying. Right away, Damir, the 1 year old, looked up, very concerned. He crawled over, and was going right for Winston, who was right next to Alex. We figured he was taking the opportunity to “borrow” him while Alex was crying. Instead, he grabbed Winston and dropped him in Alex’s lap. It’s like he was trying to comfort him and it was the sweetest gesture ever. What a sweet boy he is! As usual, our visit went by too fast. I wish we could spend more time with him, but soon enough we’ll be home with him and he’ll be all ours. We came home for lunch and instead of going out, Jeff ran to the bakery to get some peroshgies (sp?) while Sue and I checked email. John eventually made his way over and we all hung out until our next visit. Their second visit isn’t until 4:00, so we spend the afternoons on our own. Alex was very happy in the afternoon and was all giggles and smiles. He’s such a sweet and happy baby. I’m amazed at how quickly he’s bonded with us. I guess all he needed was lots of love and kisses. We’ll never run out of those! We rested in the afternoon and went with John and Sue to the Chagala Hotel for dinner. Jeff had a burger and some Kazakh beer. I had pizza. It wasn’t quite as good as usual, but it was still good. We walked back and have been taking it easy this evening. I’m feeling a bit tired today, not sure why. I can’t believe a whole week has already passed! I read Jeff’s comments before I started writing this, and as much as I’m enjoying this experience, I don’t think I could live here. I will do my best to experience Alex’s birth country, though, so when he’s older, we can share with him all that we learned and enjoyed here in Uralsk. Tomorrow, I believe we’re getting a tour of Uralsk. This should be enjoyable, and we’ll take lots of photos to share with all of you. Until then, you are all in our thoughts and prayers and we love you all very much.

Comments for August 16 Comment from jeney The squeals are the best! I love it when babies do that. It sounds like when grown-ups try desperately to hold in a laugh :D Crawling! Oh my! If he's 8 months, then he's even a bit early! He's a genius, I knew it. Then he can sit up, too. He can do lots of tricks! THANK YOU for being so descriptive - it's so wonderful to feel a part of all the joy. Comment from Dzheffrey Boris Actually, he's not really sitting up on his own just yet. He'll sit, but if he falls forward. he's not quite sure what to do, and if he falls over on his side, he just rolls over onto his back and stays there. It's kinda cute, really. Comment from Jess in MD That universal truth--go to Daddy if Mama does something upsetting, and vice versa--is definitely also true for girls. ;) Now I just need to find some speakers, as mine were donated to Hannah's computer... Comment from Uncle Dan Was a great entry into the journal today. Your comments about 'expatriotism' has been experienced by others. We've sort of defined and created ourselves for a particular environment. Remove the familiar and regain the freedom to just be a thing of the moment ... how sweet when the moment is a good thing in a good place! Your comments about Alex exposing his hidden ability to crawl brings back fantastic memories of watching Samantha and Daniel struggle with the skill. I won't bore you with it here, but someday, we'll have the opportunity to get together and indulge one another by listening to the stories of each other. A bit of advice on diaper changing that I remembered: It was useless for me to try to clean, wipe, and SMEAR Daniel's bottom. I just gave it up and stripped him down and bathed him from the waist down (when that was the only area needing attention - but that's another story). He loved the bath and it was just more splashing good fun and games for the guys. And, oh yes. Get used to it raising a son. The rule is, "If Dad says NO, go see Mommy." Thsi works until Dad and Mommy figure it out and develop a united front. Also get ready for this one "Dad, Mom said it was OK with her for me to ... (bungee jump, shave the dog, eat a worm... if it was OK with you." Of course Mom has heard nothing of any of it until she gets "Mom, Dad said it was OK with him for me ...." You get the pitcure. Child psychologists likely have a clever name for this maneuver (see note at end). I'm listening to the squals and my laughter is equal to that of Alex! Later. Note: A major short-coming of this website is the absence of 'Spell-check' for the comments section. It's a significant crutch for us products of substandard southern schools! Comment from Uncle Dan Was a great entry into the journal today. Your comments about 'expatriotism' has been experienced by others. We've sort of defined and created ourselves for a particular environment. Remove the familiar and regain the freedom to just be a thing of the moment ... how sweet when the moment is a good thing in a good place! Your comments about Alex exposing his hidden ability to crawl brings back fantastic memories of watching Samantha and Daniel struggle with the skill. I won't bore you with it here, but someday, we'll have the opportunity to get together and indulge one another by listening to the stories of each other. A bit of advice on diaper changing that I remembered: It was useless for me to try to clean, wipe, and SMEAR Daniel's bottom. I just gave it up and stripped him down and bathed him from the waist down (when that was the only area needing attention - but that's another story). He loved the bath and it was just more splashing good fun and games for the guys. And, oh yes. Get used to it raising a son. The rule is, "If Dad says NO, go see Mommy." Thsi works until Dad and Mommy figure it out and develop a united front. Also get ready for this one "Dad, Mom said it was OK with her for me to ... (bungee jump, shave the dog, eat a worm... if it was OK with you." Of course Mom has heard nothing of any of it until she gets "Mom, Dad said it was OK with him for me ...." You get the pitcure. Child psychologists likely have a clever name for this maneuver (see note at end). I'm listening to the squals and my laughter is equal to that of Alex! Later. Note: A major short-coming of this website is the absence of 'Spell-check' for the comments section. It's a significant crutch for us products of substandard southern schools! Comment from Cousin Lisa Brown in NJ Gosh, what an amazing journey you are on! Congratulations on finally meeting and being able to hug and love your beautiful son. The pictures tell the story-he's falling in love with you guys too, more each day! God bless you all and I pray that your journey home will be blessed. Your family and friends in California must be dying to hold that beautiful boy. Jeff, I've never met you in person, but reading your entries in this journal makes me love the person you are! Please give my best to your wife and your mom and dad and Joanna. Comment from Crystal Sarver Dina & Jeff, I am glad you made it safely and are enjoying your time with your son. He is adorable!!! I am reading and looking at photos everyday. Enjoy your time there and I can't wait to see pics of Uralsk. We are still waiting for our travel dates! Please hurry home so we can go get our little ones! Crystal Sarver & Daaron Comment from Cory Hamma My girlfriend says she's not willing to get one of those baby things unless she gets a ring. Is this fair? The most ultimate congrats to both of you. I knew when I met both of you what great parents you would make! This website is a great idea. I can't wait to read more! Comment from Nouna Maria What a precious voice? Can you just eat him up or what? So glad all is going so well, and Alex is adjusting so quickly. Do you think he knows how lucky he is to have parents who love him so much? Looking forward to more "sights and sounds" from Khazakstan. Love, Maria Comment from Joanna So I tried to leave a comment on Friday, but I guess it didn't stick. He is so cute. ANd I just have to say that we're going to get along famously as he is obviously an animal lover as well...always kissing his puppy like that. I can't wait to see him! Comment from Deltamiss I LOVE IT!!! I swear there is nothing sweeter than a child's laughter! Comment from Joyce Reid Hello Dina , Jeff and Alex, I loved the sound of Alex's voice......but not our cat Douglas. When I played "the squeal" for the first time Douglas fell off the couch and hid under a chair!!!! He's still there. This is a wonderful site and we are enjoying your journal and the pictures. ESPECIALLY the pictures. Joyce. P.S.Jeff, Mark Russell is alive and living in Buffalo. Comment from Joanna Yet again, jeff, the first few paragraphs have sent me dreaming and thinking into another dimension. I really feel like I'm there with you and not stuck in santa clara staring at a computer screen. Thanks for being so eloquent and taking us all along for the ride! Comment from Joanna Wake up already! I've finally caught up with all the posts from this weekend and I'm ready for the 17th! I want more pictures. What are you lazy people doing sleeping at 12am? Now I'm going to have to wait until tomorrow to hear and see more...sniff. Comment from Julie Regan Jeff and Dina, What a beautiful child Alex is. Nina has forwarded your web site to me and I have enjoyed reading all of the discoveries that you both are going through as Jeremiah is sleeping. Pat and I are very excited for you both and look forward to hooking up with you after you have returned and settled in to a comfortable routine. Our prayers are with you both for safe, smooth, and enjoyable experiences. Blessings, Julie Comment from Andrew Jeff & Dina - Glad everything is going so well. Beautiful pictures. Am enjoying checking on your progress and looking forward to seeing Alex when you finally get to bring him home. So, how do you rate those McKazakh burgers (or is it a Royale with Cheese?)? Andrew Comment from Nana Nina Oh .. Oh ... Oh, baby laughter. Oh, my goodness ... from Kazakhstan!!!! Do you remember that dream I had about pushing my dresser through the airport in Tashkent? This is so weird. I mean, who knew that Kazakhstan even existed (except for Soviet astronauts and oil barons); and now we're hearing babies giggle literally all the way on the other side of the earth. This is most amazing. I am so ticked off that I'm at work right now, because no matter what the time, I really want to call you and scream into the phone about how excited I am. So I guess I'll call Dad instead, and wait until much later to try you-all. And it's our baby (so to speak, of course!). This fortunate child will never have to experience the bad quality of the air in California, because he'll always be breathing other people's breath because there will be so many people kissing him. Let's hope we all have a relatively germ-free winter, huh? Comment from Nana Nina Dina and Jeff ~ I just knew my grandson was a brilliant young man who would motivate himself to get something he wanted. Now you know how to buy for him. Just take him to other folks' houses and see what he steals from their kids. All kidding aside, that was a beautiful gesture from Damir. What a sweetheart. And you did the right thing taking it away from him. He needs to have some limits, after all. Before we had kids, we always hated it when folks would come visit with their children and the kids would run wild all over the place and pick up everything. We knew there must be a way to raise children that people would want around them ~ and when Jeff and then Joanna were born and grew old enough to notice that there was a world around them that wasn't attached to them, we just indicated "that's Daddy's and this is Jeffrey's", etc. ~ over and over and over again ~ until they got it. The result? Our kids have never broken anyone's crystal ~ at least not that we've heard about. And no one ever kicked them out of a dwelling, either. (We saved the loud "No!" for running into the street or touching the stove.) You guys sure spend a lot of time at the Chug-A-Lot Hotel restaurant/bar. Is it that good? Jeff, did you get any borscht? Why don't you try some home cooking? Maybe a little basmati rice, or pesto, or grilled salmon. I always love shopping in foreign supermarkets, especially ones where I can't read the labels. Do they have salmon there? Would you buy it if they did? I should think chicken would have a distinctive look, also. How about a simple cereal for breakfast? How do you determine which is which if the packaging is in Russian? I love the stories about your communicating in Russian. Keep them coming. Comment from Angie Morrow Today's pictures were incredible! I really got to see his facial features clearly. He has such a beautiful face and his eyes are the most incredible eyes I have ever seen. They're enormous. WOW! Comment from Mairesue I can't believe we heard your son! That is freakin' amazing. WOW! Comment from Yiayia Connie OK i just got home from SF and could not wait to get to the computer to see todays pictures. Adorable as ever, and as Angie said so many beautiful expressions. I love his serious thoughtful looks, and his laughing pictures just make me laugh. I loved hearing his voice, how did you do that? he sounds so sweet. This website is going to be such a wonderful memory and scrapbook for the three of you. Talk to you soon. Love, Mom Comment from Lauri Hi Dina & Jeff, I'm a friend of your sister, Julie, and I have been having such a great time reading your daily journal entries! The pictures of Alex are absolutely precious!! From his apprehensive look on the first day to his angelic looks today, they are all amazing! What an adventure for you guys and a great story for him to share when he gets older. You are so blessed to be the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy! P.S. The Earth, Wind & Fire concert was fabulous. Julie and I had a great time! Thank you for winning the tickets! Comment from Lou Evans This week is Angela's 10th birthday and it brings back a memory of Jeff's first "public" date (am I correct about this?) with Dina at Angela's 3rd birthday party! In your wildest dream within your wildest dreams would you ever have imagined where you would have been seven years in the future? Don't even try to think about where you three (or more?) will be in the next seven years--the possibilities are endless. You've just gotten on the wildest and most exhilirating ride of your lives! Comment from Pat Shikany Jeff and Dina, What a wonderful thing to hold this sweet baby in your arms and give him all those kisses. I just today got your web site from your dad Dina and I have spent the last 3 hours reading and crying for happiness for the three of you. Someone mentioned that Alex looks like Fawaz and when I saw the first picture with those gorgeous brown eyes I thought the same thing. Can't wait to kiss those cheeks of his. Keep up this wonderful journal and can't wait until the judge says "GO HOME" with Alex. Comment from Doug & Anastasia What an awesome adventure! Now hurry your 3 little kolo's home so we can all celebrate together! Love you! Comment from Melanie I heard him!! I heard him!!! Comment from Thea Evonne I am enjoying reading your daily journals about your experiences and impressions. The pictures are great. Alex is beautiful and I can imagine how happy you are. It must be difficult to leave him each day. He is such a sweet boy. Hopefully time will pass quickly and soon you can keep him with you always. As always, our prayers are with you all. Comment from Julianna Alex looks like a little man! And I LOVE the squeal! I love the hiccup just as much! :) I'm looking forward to the pics of Uralsk. -Julianna Comment from mary evans Listening to your observations about Alex brings back wonderful memories of my children. Their first attempt at walking, mastering their hand-eye coordination and thus being able to place their feeding spoon in their mouth instead of hitting themselves in the eye or nose. When they tried to be funny, and waited for your laughing response, and the wonderful way they approached learning and observing the new things they experienced. It wasn't long before I was leaving my children at Kindergarten as I sat in my car parked in front of the school crying for several minutes. When Matthew finally decided he could roll over, he did so and promptly fell off the couch. Thank God he was not hurt! Glad to hear the insect bites are no longer a topic of concern. Can't believe the piza even compares to Fawaz's. Angela had her 10th birthday party today. Pizza, movie, cake and sleepover... sometimes I do miss Barney! Comment from mary evans Your son is so beautiful, can't wait to babysit! Comment from Karyn (prayerwarrior on LJ) Baby squeals are the best! I think you should record all of your visits and play them for us, so we can be there too! He has the most beautiful eyes, by the way!

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